50 Shades of Scary

            I usually make it my job, my responsibility, to be very modest in all of my voiced opinions about things because I don’t think it’s my job to shove my opinions down other people’s throats. I began reading 50 Shades of Grey yesterday, and I just can’t keep my opinion to myself about this book. I need to share my thoughts about it because if I don’t I will explode. The first thing I want to touch on is the reason that I’m reading this book; my friend recommended it to me. I am always looking for new books to read because I read books like some people drink water. The second reason is because I heard a lot about the hype for the book; I saw articles online and the title under the bestsellers in Amazon. Curiosity got the best of me and I thought Hell, I’ll try it. I want to preface this with I have no intention of ripping this book for the hell of it; I hope to clearly state my opinions in a way that is constructive and not destructive. I’d also like to state that I am not done with the book yet, but I couldn’t continue reading it without writing down my opinions. I have no hope of finishing it if I don’t get some of these things off my chest.

            There are a variety of issues I have with 50 Shades of Grey and the first one that I have is that none of the characters are really original. If you read Twilight and then read 50 Shades of Grey you’ll probably have a moment where you wonder Did I pick up the wrong book? I thought I was reading 50 Shades? Ana and Bella are practically the same person; both are clumsy, both come from divorced families, both have flighty mothers, and both are pretty much annoying. Then there is Christian Grey who is mysterious and breathtakingly beautiful with extremely stalker-ish qualities. He saves Ana from a bike that nearly runs her over as a result from her clumsiness and then later on tells her that he just can’t stay away from her any longer because there is something special about her. Sound familiar? If that’s not enough then there is Jose who is Ana’s best friend and their father’s are best friends as well; he’s dark and handsome and is blatantly into Ana but she just doesn’t see him as more than a friend. Who does that remind you of? Oh, that’s right Jacob Black.

            Okay, so the lack of original characters is a huge drawback for me. The second problem I have with the book is Ana’s inner dialogue with her subconscious. Page after page Ana always mentions things that her subconscious is saying to her and page after page I want to scream ANA! Your subconscious doesn’t talk to you! I even did a dictionary.com search to make sure that I was correct on this one because I don’t want to make an ass out of myself but subconscious means “the totality of mental processes of which the individual is not aware; unreportable mental activities.”. Here are the important key words: not aware. Thoughts that you are aware of are not your subconscious; the way Ana whines I really believe it’s just her low self-esteem talking to her. Subconscious would be her punching herself in the face and not knowing why and the reasoning would be her subconscious brain being so sick of her whining all the time that it tried to knock her out.

            I could go on about the subconscious thing because it never ceases to annoy me, but let’s move on to something else. What else bugs me about this book? Oh, Christian is a stalker. It’s not that he’s into kinky stuff in bed; I get that and can respect it on some level. Everyone has things that make them tick. No judgment whatsoever. I, however, cannot ignore the fact that he meets Ana and the next day somehow magically knows where she works, shows up and she doesn’t think anything of it. Then he gets angry if she talks to any other guys; I understand that people get jealous sometimes but when that jealousy causes some type of fear then it is kind of cause for concern. The creepiest scene for me is when Ana is out having drinks with friends and Christian tracks her cell phone to figure out which bar she’s at so he can come and get her. Tracks her phone! After she tells him not to come and specifically leaves out her location. Yes, he interrupts what could have been a potentially dangerous situation with Jose but he tracks her phone… It would be at that point that I would be filling out a restraining order.

            Here is my biggest problem with the book thus far: the submission. I want to state again that I’m not against the kinkiness, clearly that works for some people. I actually feel that the sex scenes in the book are the parts that are the most original and least like Twilight. It’s not the sex I have a problem with. It’s the parts beyond the sex that bother me. The fact that Christian tells Ana that she needs to exercise 4 times a week with a personal trainer that he’s picked out, and she has to finish all the food on her plate, she has to wear the clothes that he goes with her to pick out and gives her money for, and she’s expected to please him whenever he wants it. That’s fine if that’s some kind of role play you do with your significant other but the reality of it is scary. I feel like it plays into the whole idea that women are just here to be objects of pleasure for men; I do whatever you want me to do whenever you want me to do it and I’m expected to enjoy it.

            I got into a discussion with a guy about this topic and I was pretty much told that this book is female fantasy at its heart. Yeah, some dude talked to me like he knew better than I about what female fantasy is. He told me that publishing houses churn out romance novels with heroines who are submissive, or who tame a bad boy, or have a ticking clock where the romance will dissolve and be gone forever. “It appeals to the broadest audience”. I kept my tongue in my mouth because I’m not one to start yelling at people but my first thought was: is this legitimately female fantasy or is it what society has taught women female fantasy should be? For the longest time and still to some extent today, it’s seen as inappropriate for women to have sexual fantasies because that’s not how women should behave. Is it really female fantasy to have some guy control you and tell you what you can and cannot do? Maybe I just hang out with some really strong willed women, but I’ve never met a person who actually wants that in real life. Yes, my friend recommended to me that I read this book but she is the last person on earth who would allow a man to tell her what to do.

            There is a disconnect between what I’m reading in the book and what I’d actually want it real life. The same as when I read Harry Potter it does not mean that I actually want to learn and practice witchcraft and then have some scary evil wizard chase after me in daily life. I realize this and I accept it and that’s why I’ve continued to read 50 Shades of Grey because I know that reading it doesn’t mean that I’d want to actually do any of the things in the book. The point that I become concerned is when men become involved and start to actually believe that the things written in these romance novels are what women actually want. That’s where it becomes scary for me; playing into stereotypes about women and what is expected of them. Unfortunately, this is written for women by a woman which makes it even more believable that this is exactly what women want. I just wish that somehow there could be romance novels that appeal to women’s sexuality without making men believe that is what every woman wants. I completely understand that everyone is different and some people may be into the things discussed in 50 Shades of Grey and that’s fine. I just don’t want society to make assumptions about what female sexuality is based on reading this book because the relationship between Ana and Christian is not a role playing game they’re doing to spice things up, it is truly an abusive relationship and that concerns me.

            I wrote this not to rip the book apart, I have a great amount of respect that E.L. James wrote this book and has become successful. Any writer who actually makes it definitely gets a gold star in my book. I needed to express my opinions so that I have a hope of finishing the book because with the place I was in before writing this I didn’t feel like I was going to be able to finish reading it. It’s very possible that while I continue to read the book that my opinion will change and if it does that will be great; I am one of those people that hates reading a book and not enjoying it. Reading is my escape and I find nothing more disappointing than reading a book and thinking Ugh, why did I read that? I do see the addiction in reading 50 Shades of Grey; it is a quick read and it sucks you in and makes you wonder what will happen next. Anyone who is wondering if they should read 50 Shades, I suggest you go out and make your own opinions you may feel differently than I do.